My Mantra---Never When or Where

Have you ever missed an opportunity because you were too focused on your preconceived ideas about when and where the opportunity you were looking for was going to show up?

In this episode, we show you the value of releasing some expectations so you can fully receive all that is meant for you. By first defining your guiding principles about who you seek to serve, what you have to give, why you want to be of service, and how you can be of most service, you become clear about your inner purpose. Then, with patience, faithfulness to your vision, and living in the "now," you will be ready to deliver as a servant leader, anytime, anywhere, and you are less likely to miss out on opportunities to reach true prosperity in service to others.

Transcript

Copy Transcript Copied

Speaker 1 0:06

Hello. And welcome here is a podcast just for you where every day I'm teaching you something new about how to be the best version of yourself. So you can be an inspiring visionary for everyone else. I'm showing up to guide you. There's some things that you may have often overlooked such as how to strengthen your mindset. Without having to read a book in a world where everyone's focus is on what everyone else is up to. I'm hoping I can help you slow life down so you can focus on what you can do. The world needs more people to believe in what they see and to have visions beyond diagnoses with a focus on possibility. So I'm asking that as you listen in, please open up your mind and together, let's see all the ways we can make better. What we find. This is a podcast about diversity, equity and inclusion, and it's also about my experiences with exclusion. And it is my hope that in each episode, you're able to connect with me. And when we leave the conversation, I hope you are forever committed to the cause. See me not ASD. Let's get started.

Speaker 2 1:24

Hello.

Speaker 1 1:24

Hello and welcome. This is episode 10 of Simi , not ASD the podcast. I'm your host Devika car this week. We're talking about my mantra. It always comes with a who a what, how and a why, but it never comes with aware. And a Awin monologue question for you is this, have you ever missed an opportunity because you were too focused on your preconceived ideas about when and where the opportunity that you were looking for would show up. Our segment goal is simple. We're hoping to show you the value of releasing expectations so that you can fully receive what is meant for you. I'm recalling on this book, the power of now some very important concepts I learned in here in order to carry out this episode, I'm thankful to the former friend that gifted it to me. I could not have anticipated when or where I was going to receive this book or how it would come into my life, but I'm certainly glad that it did. So a lot of this book is about the power now, but , uh , how to find and tap into the power , uh, based on what changing the ideas that you think of when you consider what now really means. And so the, the most important concepts for this episode is the difference, your inner purpose and your outer purpose. And for me, and based on what I learned in this book, your inner purposes, what's in your heart, essentially. It is the who, the what, the how, and the why. And it's defining each of these in such a way that what's in your heart is, is ingrained. It is deeply rooted. It is easy for you to conceptualize and come up with creative ideas for it is something you could recite in your, in your sleep. It's something that you are able to easily communicate to others. And it's something that you are always prepared for. So for example, the who you have to know exactly who you want to serve in your life for some of us that is our children for others, it may be your spouse or your significant other, or your partner. It could be in a professional setting, your clients. It could be your students. If you're a teacher, it could be your patients. If you're a doctor, it could be your neighbor. If you are a neighbor, it could be your parents. If you are caring for them in any capacity, there are so many levels and ways in which we serve others. As long as in our heart, we are clearly defining who we seek to serve. Then that is something that we always carry with us. And we're always clear about. So the first one then is , is who's defining who you want to serve next, defining what you want to provide through your service. So for example, if you are a doctor, what do you want to provide to your patients? Clearly defining what kind of experience you'd like for them to have? What kind of feelings you're hoping to evoke from them throughout their experience? What would you like for them to be able to recall as a memory of their experience? If you are a mother, what do you want to provide to your children through your service? Do you want to give them security? Do you want to educate them? Do you want to be an example for them of what their possibilities may look like when they are themselves adults? So just clearly defining what you would like to give through your levels of service next defining why you feel compelled to serve these individuals at no time in our lives. Are we actually aside , uh , you know , from the gray area of the law , uh, at no time, are we really ever forced in any particular way to serve people? We could choose if we wanted to, to serve no one at all, to be entirely selfish in every aspect of our lives and to only serve ourselves. And you know, that's entirely up to you as an individual, but I'm going to guess that if you are listening to this podcast, that person is not you. And if it is you and you're listening to this podcast, then hopefully this episode and many of our other episodes will encourage you to think differently and to change the way that you view yourself as a person in service to others. And so really just understanding why you feel compelled to serve in every role that you have chosen to serve in. I became a mother and I chose to serve my child and now my children. Um, but I need to know why I care to serve them. Is it because I want them to grow up and be respectable individuals and adults? Is it because I want them to grow up, feeling loved and respected by me as their mother? Do I do it because I want them to know that they themselves will have the honor and privilege of serving others at some point in their lives. And I want to demonstrate for them what that looks like. And so you could go through every role that you play and really contemplate why you are serving others. And I think that that would be a great exercise to do also thinking about how you will provide what you can give and the , the ways that you define, how are really looking at, what are your skills, what are the characteristics through which you can provide service to others? And in the ways that you imagine, how do you generate knowledge and wisdom and through your knowledge and wisdom, what aspects are you knowing? And are you wise that you want to use to provide what you'd like to give to those you would like to serve clearly defining, okay . In every role that you exist, how your skills and your characteristics and your unique levels of knowledge and wisdom, clearly defining all of that will really bring together what's in your heart. And this exercise really is meant to, I mean, even if you were just to sit down and write, you know, okay, I have the roles that are most important to me, the role as a mother, my role as an attorney, my role as in a public speaker, my role as a special education advocate, right? So let's say I just took all of those roles and I listed them and I made a column. And then I started to list, who am I serving in each of those roles? And why do I wish to serve each of them? And then what do I want to give them through my service? What do I want to leave them with? What kind of experience and memory would I like to provide them with? And then how there each of those roles, can I do it? And this whole process, you may find that you have similar house and similar whos and similar wise and similar , um, methods and of giving the service. And I think could be some discussion, right? That, that through each of these roles where you find the commonality is perhaps there's a way to serve them in multiple ways at the same time, or perhaps there are ways to, to kind of minimize your exertion, but maximize the effect, right? Because there's only so much time in a day. And yet that's what brings me to the, the where and the win . So you don't always know when you will come into contact with the types of people that you wish to serve. Perhaps you're the, who that you are looking to serve is children. And you never know when you're going to come into contact with a child who can receive what you have to give. For example, if your , if what's in your heart is to serve underprivileged children and you are in a grocery store one afternoon, and you discover a mother with her child who cannot afford all of the groceries she has put in her cart. Something is as simple and vague as that. That might be an opportunity that you could not have contemplated or thought of, but it might be an opportunity for you give in service to that child. And to that mother, through the ways that you have developed your kindness, developed your wisdom, your knowledge, your understanding , uh, that under privilege exists anywhere and everywhere, but being open to receive that opportunity, to inspire that child or influence that child's life in the way in which you hope to serve them. That is the awareness that we need more of. We need people to open up their ideas and their thoughts about when they will find these opportunities and where they'll be when they have , and you won't always know where you'll have opportunities to serve. It could show up at any time I could be walking around our block and discover, you know, a parent with their child who is having a meltdown and I could stop and have a conversation and discover that the child has an intellectual disability diagnosis that impacts their ability to , uh, stay focused or social or on task or to , but in, in, unfortunately causes them to have tantrums at unreasonable moments or seemingly unreasonable times of the day or in certain spaces. And that could be an opportunity for me to , uh, help serve that child in that parent , uh, in that moment. So, yeah , but if I, if I restrict myself and I set an expectation that the only place and the only , um, the only place in the only time that I'm going to be able to serve the individuals that I seek to serve in the ways that I seek to serve them , uh, if I, if I restrict my expectations to only those events and times that I create that I schedule on my calendar or that I create an event for, then I will miss a whole lot of opportunities to inspire, to create impact into really fulfill the purpose that's in my heart, my inner purpose. And so these, the, when and the, where are just variables that you can schedule, you can advertise, you can invite people to show up for. Uh, but if you're always setting expectations about when and where, then you will inadvertently even miss significant opportunities to serve those that you wish to serve. And so really what I'm asking is for you to be open-minded , uh, but to also be aware, aware of the excitement that comes with not knowing when you step out of your house, when you might have an opportunity to make an impact and to fulfill the purpose of your heart, and to really carry out your vision, as you see that it fits for your life. So I'm asking you really to just be in and enjoy being and , and doing this doesn't mean that you can't set goals, that you can't set goals for your outer purpose, right? So for me, my understanding is that the, when and the, where is the outer purpose, it is the , um, the way in which you carry out the inner purpose of your heart. The now every moment that you're in that of the, now that is your outer purpose, that is your when and your, where, so now equals winning , right ? Where , and you're wow , your inner purpose is the ultimate goal, right? You want to go to sleep at night, knowing that you served the people you wanted to serve, that you used your skills and your characteristics and your knowledge and your wisdom to serve them, that you were able to provide them exactly what you were hoping that they would receive through your service and that you did it because of the reasons that you always wanted to do it for. Right. It's great to go to sleep at night, knowing that you have ultimately fulfilled your inner purpose no matter where it happened, or when it happened. Uh, however, paying more attention to the now means that you are paying more attention to the opportunities to fulfill your inner purpose by releasing expectations about, about when and where the outer purpose will be fulfilled. This makes it possible for you to deliver and serve at any time anywhere. And so really when you are certain that your inner purpose is clear, it's concrete, you are absolutely clearly defined in your mind and in your heart as to who you want to serve and what you would like to give them and why you're doing it and how you plan to do it. Then anytime , anywhere you're ready, you're always ready to serve. You're always ready to give. You're always ready to fulfill the purpose of your heart and by doing so, you're living in the now, but you're also giving to others in the ways in which your outer purpose is fulfilled. So clearly defined guiding principles, the who, the what, the, how, and the why, or what leads to a clear vision. And, you know, in 2020, everyone's talking about having a clear vision, and this is one way to do it, to clearly define the inner purpose, the desires of your heart, and then to be faithful in the now to your vision, to be patient in the now with your vision. And then to notice the clues around you, as you exist in every space in the now to really tap into the when and where I think it's really exciting to think about how, how cool this process is when you really tap into it and do it and receive it for, for what it is. So I encourage you to listen to this episode, one, two, three, four times, however many times take notes. The notes are always up for you on the website , um, but really to define for yourself, all the roles that you play, that you're choosing to play and be a part of, and then defining for yourself who you wish to serve in those roles and why you're doing it and what you would like for them to receive and how you plan to give it to them so that they do receive it, and then be open-minded live in the now so that you can receive the when and the where, and always be ready, always be ready to serve with your whole heart, your whole entire , uh , inner purpose so that you can fulfill your outer purpose too . So the call to action this week is for you to consider where you are now, where are you in your space? Where are you currently sitting? Where are you thinking, where are you at in your life? And think about who do you wish to serve? What role are you currently fulfilling that you're choosing to fulfill? And who do you want to serve in that role? What do you have to give in service to that person, those people, why do you want to give and serve to them? How can you facilitate your service and giving based on your skills, your knowledge, your wisdom, your character, and then now, now live without expectations about when and where just be ready to serve at all times, wherever you are, whenever you get an opportunity, just do it. The creative connection is this gratitude for the present moment. And the fullness of life now is true prosperity. Then in time, that prosperity manifests for you in various ways. And the mantra this week is a mixed addict, adaptation from a quote by author David Epstein, who I will talk about in then , um, a few episodes from today and Supreme court, justice, Oliver, Wendell Holmes. I am willing to learn and adjust as I go. I am willing to change directions entirely as the need arises. Nothing I experienced is wasted, even when I move on because all of life is an experiment and I shall be of service everywhere. Anytime . Thank you so much for tuning in to episode 10, all the best until next time.

Speaker 3 20:28

You've just listened to see me not ASD the podcast with your hosts to Bekah. Thank you for joining. Please connect with us beyond this week's episode so we can continue the conversation. We hope that you'll have time to visit our website. See me not asd.com, where you'll discover show notes, bonus content, be able to sign up for access to our other resources and submit any questions, comments, or topic ideas. But if you're currently multitasking while watching or listening to this podcast, and you're not able to get to the website right now, we simply ask that you remember us on Instagram. See me not ASC . We have some bonus content that we've bookmarked for you, easy access, and you'll be able to get started. We believe we are the number one source for inspiring visionary supporters around the world so that they can elevate the exceptional people in the world as well in the pursuit of diversity, equity, and inclusion. So as you meet individuals, see them for the exceptional people that they are and do your best to elevate that.